Sooooo Pregnant

I feel soooo pregnant. I'm 39 weeks and 2 days.  I'm due Tuesday.  I am a blimp.  At my Dr appointment Monday I was 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced.  The doc stretched me in the hopes of getting contractions going.  Nothing doing.  I have random contractions but nothing regular. Just enough to be annoying.  I've tried all the old wives tales; spicy food, pineapple core, walking, sex, acupressure.  This kid is determined to stay in I think.  Jon thinks he's coming on Sunday b/c it's a full moon.  I think he's trying to stay in until Thanksgiving.  Why anyone would do this more than once I don't know.  You're all crazies!  These last weeks are awful!  Can't we find some scientific way of having babies so this whole pregnancy thing isn't necessary?!  And here's a tip for anyone who is around a preggo.  There is nothing more annoying than having everyone say, "Aw..no baby?" every time they see you. Clearly I am still pregnant, not to mention if I had given birth, I wouldn't be seeing you right now.  I would be in the hospital.  Also not helpful to hear how it will be soon (I'm aware, doesn't make me feel better), or how at least you can enjoy these last few days without a child (Because being this pregnant makes for such a relaxing and enjoyable time).  Suffice it to say, I am miserable and cranky.  Probably best to stay out of my way.  Just saying.