He called me cupcake

When I was little, my Grandpa George called me cupcake.  He said it was because I was so sweet.   I spent a lot of time with my grandparents when I was little while my mom and dad worked, but to tell the truth, my memories of him are a little hazy early on.  What I do remember is a tall handsome man of few words.  Grandpa was never a big talker that I remember, but when he did speak up, you listened.  If I had to describe my grandpa in one word, it would be fisherman.  That may seem strange, but it really sums him up.  He enjoyed the quite and being in nature.  He could sit on a boat for hours waiting for that one fish to bite.  I'm so glad that he got to meet Linus.  I will cherish that memory forever.  I can't believe he is gone.  Although, he's not really.  He'll live on every time I tell Linus a story about his Great Grandpa George.

Grandpa and Linus

Ok I Admit It...

...I totally miss being pregnant.  I never in a million years dreamed I would be saying that, but it's true.  Now don't get me wrong, I do not miss the last month+ of being completely uncomfortable and exhausted, but I do miss it.  I really miss being able to show off my belly.  I know that's really shallow, but I loved showcasing that massive baby bump, lol!  Maybe (HOPEFULLY) I'll get to experience it again someday!

So now that I've got that off my chest, here are some updates on our little man!  Linus is 100% on formula now.  I just wasn't producing enough and once he started on formula, he completely rejected breast milk.  I even tried pumping and mixing it with the formula, but no dice.  I never really wanted to breastfeed in the first place, but since it was free and best for him, I did.  Now that he's done, I miss it.  Seems I'm missing a lot of things I didn't think I would, huh?  Let's talk about how painful it is when they stop shall we?  Linus quit cold turkey, so there was no weaning process, just painfully engorged breasts that only a hot shower could relieve. Even then the relief only lasted a little while.  There were a few days when I could barely hold Linus because even that little pressure cause searing pain!  All in all, the pain lasted about 5 days, 2.5 of which were excruciating, the rest it was receding dull throbs.  However, I was surprised that my breasts leaked for 2 weeks steadily and I still have some leakage, though not much.  I didn't realized they would leak for so long!

Linus is now sleeping exclusively in his swing.  We tried to get him in his crib, but he wouldn't stop waking up several times a night.  We decided to give swing sleeping a go, and I'm so glad we did!  He now sleeps through the night!  He just isn't happy sleeping flat on his back and I wonder if he has a bit of reflux.  When he's flat on his back, but spits up a lot, but in his swing, his head is elevated and he rarely spits up.  If there is one thing I'm learning about parenting it's that you do what works for you.  I have completely stopped listening to any books or other people other than to mentally note tips and tricks. Sometimes we try them, sometimes we don't.  You really have to do what works for you and your baby!

Linus officially had his first cold this past week.  He was so stuffy!  Who knew a baby could produce that much snot!  Thank goodness for nasal aspirators!  He's starting to get over it now and I'm so glad!  I hate feeling so helpless!

Linus started daycare next week because I have to go back to work.  I am not happy about it, but you gotta do what you gotta do right?  Anyway, more on that once it happens.  For now, I'm off to love on my baby!

Babies Are Hard On A Marriage

It's true.  Having a baby is hard, especially on your relationship.  You will fight more, but you will also love more.  Since Linus was born, my relationship with my husband has changed drastically.  Jon and I talked endlessly long before we were even married about how we would raise children.  We talked even more about it once we got pregnant.  No matter how much you talk about it, once the baby gets here, everything goes out the door.  You swore you'd put him directly into the crib to sleep, he ends up sleeping in a bassinet next to your bed.  You said you'd still get out and do fun things, you end up staying in for weeks.  Not to mention, you will be so sleep deprived the smallest thing will set you off!
Jon and I have argued more in the last 2 months than we have in the last 2 years.  We have a rule that we don't go to bed angry.  I know it's cliche, but it really seems to work.  It forces us to work out or disagreements so we don't hold onto them and get even angrier.  And that seems to make us even better as a couple.  We talk through more things, not just the baby.  So for us, having a baby has made us better at communicating.  Don't get me wrong, the past 2 months have been amazing and I couldn't love my son or husband more.  But if you're having a baby, take off those rose colored glasses!  Go into it knowing that you and your significant others relationship will never be the same.  Set a game plan with, but be open to changing it.  Most importantly, be realistic and communicate.  One day, you'll sleep again.

Linus' Second Month

Linus was 2 months old on January 25th.  I can't believe how fast he is changing!  This month he found his hands and he loves sucking on them.  He also became much more vocal.  He coos and "talks" to you and he also...cries.  My calm laid back baby is a little less laid back these days.  I still can't complain because he doesn't cry too much, but when he's hungry or wet, watch out!  I can't believe he's already 2 months old!

Love Drunk

It is impossible to describe how much I love my little guy.  I didn't know it was possible to love someone that much.  People always say you'll understand when you have one and it used to make me so mad.  Now I understand.  You really can't fathom what it feels like until you experience it.  I could spend every moment of every day just staring at Linus.  Nothing makes my day like seeing him smile at me and when he coos, forget about it!  Yes, I am totally love drunk on my son, and I like it!  

Happy Birthday Josh!

Our eldest, Josh, is twelve today!  I can't believe how old he's getting!  I mean, look at this kid!

We had a weekend long celebration.  It started with seeing The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug on Friday, which was awesome!  Then Sunday Grandpa and Grandma Hardwick took us bowling!   None of us are very good bowling, but we always have fun!

Today we had cake and Josh got to stay home from school.  Of course that was because of the ice/snow/incredibly cold temperatures, but one could argue that even Mother Nature wanted Josh to be able to laze about on his special day!

Playing Catch Up

Now that the holiday season is over, I can finally start getting caught up on things!  We have started to dig ourselves out from under all of the holiday trash and I'm able to start to get things organized.  First up is Linus' nursery.  He made out like a bandit at the holidays and now his nursery is a disaster zone!  Speaking of Linus, he has been loving his bath's since we started doing them in the big bath tub.

After Christmas, Mom and Kelly came down to see Linus.  We had a great time!  I don't get to see my family as often as I like, so I love it anytime I get to see them!  We went to Walmart and hung out at the house.  Just low key girl time....plus Linus, lol.

For New Years Eve, we stayed low key.  Since I'm breastfeeding, I didn't want to get into too many shenanigans. We had David and Kate over and ordered pizza.  We watched the ball drop, then pretty much headed to bed!  Hey, I take my sleep where I can get it nowadays! 

Linus at One Month

This post is a little late as Linus was a month old on Christmas, but then again, that is why it's late!  The pictures were taken on the right day though!  I can't believe how fast he is growing!  I love all the new firsts and watching him experience new things, but I already think he's growing up too fast, lol.

Four Christmas'

It got a little crazy around here during the holidays!  We have a lot of family to see, but I don't mind.  I love that we have so many people to celebrate Christmas with.  The weekend before Christmas, we went up to see my family. I was so glad that Linus got to meet my Grandpa George!  He turned 90 in December and it was so special to see them together!

                                             Linus meeting Great Grandpa George

We got to see Jon's various families and celebrate with them too!  We spent Christmas Eve with the Rhoades side,

Christmas day we had our own family Christmas morning, followed by Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa Hardwick.  Did I mention I love our families? :)

Still Surreal

Linus is pretty much perfect.  No joke, he really is the best baby.  He never cries.  He has the periods where he stares straight into your eyes and you can tell he is taking everything in.  I still have a hard time sometimes believing that this amazing little boy is mine.  It still is just surreal that this little person belongs to me.  I find myself staring at him all day and never wanting to put him down.  Even with the sleep deprived brain power I'm rocking these days, I avoid sleep just to watch him.  I am loving being a mom.  I have to admit that I worried about connecting with Linus once he got here, which while a valid concern of a mom-to-be, was unfounded.  Once he got I had the instant connection you here about.  Well I did once I got some sleep, lol.  Hey it was a long labor ok?!  Anyway, L is 3 weeks old and I'm already telling him to slow down with the growing up.  I can't believe how fast time has been going since he got here.  I feel like tomorrow I'll wake up and he'll be graduating high school!  Last night he had his first non-sponge bath!  He hated getting sponge bath's, but he really seemed to like getting a regular kind!

How cute is he!??!