He called me cupcake

When I was little, my Grandpa George called me cupcake.  He said it was because I was so sweet.   I spent a lot of time with my grandparents when I was little while my mom and dad worked, but to tell the truth, my memories of him are a little hazy early on.  What I do remember is a tall handsome man of few words.  Grandpa was never a big talker that I remember, but when he did speak up, you listened.  If I had to describe my grandpa in one word, it would be fisherman.  That may seem strange, but it really sums him up.  He enjoyed the quite and being in nature.  He could sit on a boat for hours waiting for that one fish to bite.  I'm so glad that he got to meet Linus.  I will cherish that memory forever.  I can't believe he is gone.  Although, he's not really.  He'll live on every time I tell Linus a story about his Great Grandpa George.

Grandpa and Linus

Ok I Admit It...

...I totally miss being pregnant.  I never in a million years dreamed I would be saying that, but it's true.  Now don't get me wrong, I do not miss the last month+ of being completely uncomfortable and exhausted, but I do miss it.  I really miss being able to show off my belly.  I know that's really shallow, but I loved showcasing that massive baby bump, lol!  Maybe (HOPEFULLY) I'll get to experience it again someday!

So now that I've got that off my chest, here are some updates on our little man!  Linus is 100% on formula now.  I just wasn't producing enough and once he started on formula, he completely rejected breast milk.  I even tried pumping and mixing it with the formula, but no dice.  I never really wanted to breastfeed in the first place, but since it was free and best for him, I did.  Now that he's done, I miss it.  Seems I'm missing a lot of things I didn't think I would, huh?  Let's talk about how painful it is when they stop shall we?  Linus quit cold turkey, so there was no weaning process, just painfully engorged breasts that only a hot shower could relieve. Even then the relief only lasted a little while.  There were a few days when I could barely hold Linus because even that little pressure cause searing pain!  All in all, the pain lasted about 5 days, 2.5 of which were excruciating, the rest it was receding dull throbs.  However, I was surprised that my breasts leaked for 2 weeks steadily and I still have some leakage, though not much.  I didn't realized they would leak for so long!

Linus is now sleeping exclusively in his swing.  We tried to get him in his crib, but he wouldn't stop waking up several times a night.  We decided to give swing sleeping a go, and I'm so glad we did!  He now sleeps through the night!  He just isn't happy sleeping flat on his back and I wonder if he has a bit of reflux.  When he's flat on his back, but spits up a lot, but in his swing, his head is elevated and he rarely spits up.  If there is one thing I'm learning about parenting it's that you do what works for you.  I have completely stopped listening to any books or other people other than to mentally note tips and tricks. Sometimes we try them, sometimes we don't.  You really have to do what works for you and your baby!

Linus officially had his first cold this past week.  He was so stuffy!  Who knew a baby could produce that much snot!  Thank goodness for nasal aspirators!  He's starting to get over it now and I'm so glad!  I hate feeling so helpless!

Linus started daycare next week because I have to go back to work.  I am not happy about it, but you gotta do what you gotta do right?  Anyway, more on that once it happens.  For now, I'm off to love on my baby!

Babies Are Hard On A Marriage

It's true.  Having a baby is hard, especially on your relationship.  You will fight more, but you will also love more.  Since Linus was born, my relationship with my husband has changed drastically.  Jon and I talked endlessly long before we were even married about how we would raise children.  We talked even more about it once we got pregnant.  No matter how much you talk about it, once the baby gets here, everything goes out the door.  You swore you'd put him directly into the crib to sleep, he ends up sleeping in a bassinet next to your bed.  You said you'd still get out and do fun things, you end up staying in for weeks.  Not to mention, you will be so sleep deprived the smallest thing will set you off!
Jon and I have argued more in the last 2 months than we have in the last 2 years.  We have a rule that we don't go to bed angry.  I know it's cliche, but it really seems to work.  It forces us to work out or disagreements so we don't hold onto them and get even angrier.  And that seems to make us even better as a couple.  We talk through more things, not just the baby.  So for us, having a baby has made us better at communicating.  Don't get me wrong, the past 2 months have been amazing and I couldn't love my son or husband more.  But if you're having a baby, take off those rose colored glasses!  Go into it knowing that you and your significant others relationship will never be the same.  Set a game plan with, but be open to changing it.  Most importantly, be realistic and communicate.  One day, you'll sleep again.